Love is blind, they say.
Love knows no reason, they say.
Love is unselfish, they say.
Love is about giving, they say.
Love is unconditional, they say.
All wrong. And most Bollywood movies are a testament to the above errors.
I'm afraid to say after spending (a little less than) 25 years on this planet that I disagree with the above tenets. Love is exactly the opposite.
Love is an expression with the tightest equations, where ever give is balanced by an equal and opposite take. You love someone for his/her qualities, not for the lack of them, which is why perhaps I'll never love a beggar. You love someone for his/her achievements, not for their failures, however unfortunate the circumstances leading to the failure be.
Love is selfish. If it's not selfish, it's not love. It's charity. You love someone not for the other person, but for yourself. You try to make the other person happy because it makes you happy in turn.
Ayn Rand said:
Love is an expression of self-esteem, of the deepest values in a man's or a woman's character. One falls in love with the person who shares these values. If a man has no clearly defined values, and no moral character, he is not able to appreciate another person. In this respect, I would like to quote from The Fountainhead, in which the hero utters a line that has often been quoted by readers: "To say 'I love you' one must know first how to say the 'I.'
Love is not about perishing for someone else but about rising higher together.
Love is not a weakness but a strength.
Love is not a bondage but an encouragement.
Love is not unconditional.
8 comments:
Nirni, I beg to disagree with the last line. The whole focus of ur love is with the opposite sex or maybe the same sex...
But wat abt the love of the mom and dad?
It is unconditional.
yep ... I concur ...
it is not selfless .. it is as selfish as anything can be ..
you pursuit it coz it gives the 'happiness' :)
I completely agree with you..
Love is not unconditional at all..
You are always demanding something from your partner be it time,importance or even love..
@ ash : In the case of parents you are talking abt... Even for parents if you don't respect them and care for them and all, even then they might continue loving you.. but there sure will be sumthing running in their minds.. As much as I can think of it..
I am gonna disagree with u pal over a bit of it. They sometimes forsake their love for the love itself . Yes it has a bit of that thing you talked about ; that they want them happy so that they cud finally make themselves happy .
But they are finally putting their long future which cud have been more better with the love-mate on sake .
Their is an irony with a little happiness of the moment and a long sorrow of the future . That's why they say , if u love someone then tell him/her and let them go , if they ever return , they wud be urs , else they never were .
P.S. 1 : Think Objectivism .
P.S. 2 : I am an Ayn Rand fan too ;)
What I feel is, lets not discuss what Love is. Lets first find out what we really want in any relationship. Do we want conditional acceptance or unconditional acceptance? What I have found out is, in any relationship I want that other accepts me and his/her acceptance never fades out with time. Acceptance which never fades out with time has to be unconditional because if it is conditional then it will have no continuity with time. If I have a conditional acceptance then I have a insecurity that I might loose the acceptance, that feeling of insecurity makes me unhappy. I want my happiness, for my happiness I need unconditional acceptance from other. I might not get unconditional acceptance from other if I can not give it. We lack the competence to give the acceptance and only expect it, which is difficult.
I feel this concludes that at least out basic desire is for unconditional love or unconditional acceptance. Yes it may be true that in current scenario people do not do that or even feel that but even in those people their basic desire is for unconditional acceptance. May be if you like then you can go through my similar article on Relationships at
http://enigmaticdev.wordpress.com/
kudos!
long time no see man.. was missing ur thoughts.
blog blog blog.
if it is conditional ...
then its not love its ..... !!
Wow! Nicely said.Concise and understandable. Do the same thing for the word "sacrifice."
I have found that the current definition is..."I have put out a little more than I intended or than I am worth therefore it is a sacrifice."
Thanks, John
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