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Sunday, January 27, 2008

Unconditional Love

They say that when you want someone no matter what, without any expectations for returns, then it's love.
Love is blind, they say.
Love knows no reason, they say.
Love is unselfish, they say.
Love is about giving, they say.
Love is unconditional, they say.

All wrong. And most Bollywood movies are a testament to the above errors.

I'm afraid to say after spending (a little less than) 25 years on this planet that I disagree with the above tenets. Love is exactly the opposite.

Love is an expression with the tightest equations, where ever give is balanced by an equal and opposite take. You love someone for his/her qualities, not for the lack of them, which is why perhaps I'll never love a beggar. You love someone for his/her achievements, not for their failures, however unfortunate the circumstances leading to the failure be.

Love is selfish. If it's not selfish, it's not love. It's charity. You love someone not for the other person, but for yourself. You try to make the other person happy because it makes you happy in turn.

Ayn Rand said:
Love is an expression of self-esteem, of the deepest values in a man's or a woman's character. One falls in love with the person who shares these values. If a man has no clearly defined values, and no moral character, he is not able to appreciate another person. In this respect, I would like to quote from The Fountainhead, in which the hero utters a line that has often been quoted by readers: "To say 'I love you' one must know first how to say the 'I.'

Love is not about perishing for someone else but about rising higher together.
Love is not a weakness but a strength.
Love is not a bondage but an encouragement.
Love is not unconditional.
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