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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

President who Talks to God

Pratibha Patil, UPA's candidate for the post of citizen number 1, now also appears to be the number 1 contact with God. She claims that she gets divine messages from God.

Of dramatic consequence will the proceedings at Rashtrapati Bhawan be if she's voted to power, as a scientist leaves the premises and a "tantrik" takes over. I suspect that Rashtrapati Bhawan would be turned into a full-time reception station for beaming hotline messages to/from God, for the way things are these days, God's advice would be needed quite frequently. Mughal Gardens will have not peacocks but instead chanting sadhus trying to appease the Almighty. The rare species of herbs and medicinal plants in the garden will be used as incense sticks.

Everytime a bill requires the President's assent, a yagna would be performed and out from the holy fire will rise sparks resembling God's powers and the warmth from the holy fire will be used as an indicator of the President's assent. As for the signature, "old" ways wherein a pen was used, will pave way for "progressive" ones wherein sandalwood paste would be smeared on the bill, marking President's assent. Article 356, President's rule, would be rechristened as "the Order of the Almighty". The President, the head of the Armed forces, while on regular rounds, would purify the army-men by sprinkling holy water from the Ganges onto their heads.

And for once, India would be a country "bhagwaan bharose" in the literal sense too.
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